There's No There There: Ulrich Lang Nightscape

If you are looking for a scent that challenges no preconceptions, sets no noses a-twitching, offends no-one; that can be worn to work, on the sporting field, or to the theatre indiscriminately, because it is absolutely shapeless and faceless, with no personality whatever; that consists entirely of a standard bright-ish opening, vaguely woody clean patchouli, and (admittedly nice) vanilla musk; that bears the imprimatur of no creative genius, nor indeed of anyone at all; that contains nothing to stir the imagination, to arouse interest; that would be described by anyone in your immediate ambit, if it were noticed at all, as "nice": if you are a man (or a woman who wears men's scents but is nevertheless completely unadventurous) who is looking for a scent that is as close to absolute neutrality, to not wearing a scent at all, as is possible, who wishes to smell faded and drab and uninteresting, then by all means buy yourself a bottle of Ulrich Lang Nightscape, currently $110 for for 100 mLs.