And In Other News

The French do an awfully good job of penning the most risible ad copy imaginable for their perfumes, but Estee Lauder is no slouch, either. You'd almost think they were in some sort of competition.

Perfumeshrine, which you absolutely should all be reading on a regular basis if you are not already, has a piece about an upcoming Lauder, Sensuous Noir, a flanker to their Sensuous of two years ago. I quite liked it, and I like the sound of this, too, but have a gander at the description of the scent.

Sensuous Noir is based on a chord of melted wood nature print, honey and amber but the floral aspects have been intensified: The fragrance encompasses exotic purple rose, rose essence and spiced lily, to evoke a midnight garden aura. “Queen of the Night,” alongside black pepper accent the scent with sweet headiness and spice respectively. The base includes "Crème Noir Accord" and Patchouli Prisma, alongside benzoin, honey, amber and vanilla, making for a gourmand take on woody.

So, so much bullshit!

First and foremost, the idea of Sensuous being a "molten wood" fragrance is a stupid one, and I see they haven't abandoned it for Sensuous Noir. Worse, even. Now it's a "melted wood nature print", which is insulting, because Nature Print is a technology used to extract a plant's scent molecules from their air and then synthesize them back at the lab, meaning that the result is not the process of extraction--which changes all scents--but something which in theory should smell precisely like the living plant in its environment. A lovely, tempting idea--unless you are trying to sell the idea of a "melted wood nature print", which is clearly nonsense because melted wood does not exist in nature. It doesn't exist at all!

Secondly, what is the deal with the invention of these ridiculous new accord names? "Creme Noir Accord"? Honestly. And "Patchouli Prisma"? Just a couple of days ago I derided Lauder for trying to invent a new scent category, "prismatic wood", and here they are again with the prisms. What is their deal? I know the market is crowded and they have to do something to make their product stand out, but do they have to insult us?

Still, you know, this does sound quite nice, and I will certainly be trying it when it hits the stores, though hearing "queen of the night flower" makes me think instantly of Dior Addict, which is also a vanilla gourmand floral with woody notes. Let's hope they're not too similar; it wouldn't be the first time Lauder has ridden the coattails of another established scent, but why would they copy something from 2002?