One Thousand Scents

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Ad Infinitum

Jim and I both love to read. We have, conservatively, about seventeen thousand books in our two-bedroom apartment. Okay, maybe sixteen thousand. But a lot. Too many. Some of them we haven't even opened since we moved in five years ago (as of yesterday). Yesterday morning before leaving for work (I'm on the night shift so I have the morning to myself), Jim said, "Pull all the books you want to get rid of, I'll veto the ones I want to keep, I'll pull the ones I want to get rid of, you can veto them, and then we'll just sell off whatever's left."

There I was, clawing through the books and trying to ignore the dust (we are not the most meticulous of housekeepers), and I stumbled across a book that I'd been looking for for a year and a half, Hey SKINNY! Great Advertisements from the Golden Age of Comic Books. I know I looked where I found it, but it's a narrow little thing, and I guess I could have overlooked it, sandwiched as it was between two burlier books. But I was so sure I checked there!

Anyway, I have it, and I've scanned the page I wanted you to see, and here it is!

"WIN POWER OVER MEN with these COMPELLING PERFUMES!" Hoo baby! "Do you want to make men OBEY YOU?" As Bette Midler would say, what kind of an asshole question is that? "Can YOU make STRONG men WEAK? Do YOU want to MARRY NOW? Do YOU want DOUBLE POWER?" Yes, yes, and yes! Of course! Just gimme the goddamn perfume already!

I know, it's a little scrawny and you can't read anything except the titles. Not to worry. I'm going to divide it up and dole it out in full-sized portions over the next couple of weeks so you can enjoy it as much as I do. It is sublime. It will make you so happy. It will restore your faith in advertising and in the whole human race.

4 Comments:

  • Hysterical! Thanks for posting this. I only wish I could see the scanned image larger. Perhaps I do not know how to work the internets.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 9:50 PM  

  • I deliberately put in a small image because the large one, the original scan was really large and I didn't want to force people who are using dial-up to have to wait ten minutes or whatever for the page to load. If I can figure out a way to put in a link to a larger image, I'll do it, of course.

    By Blogger pyramus, at 10:47 AM  

  • You're right, of course. My comment last night is an example of the dangers of commenting under the influence. Sorry to sound like a jerk.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:22 PM  

  • Oh, not at all--you didn't sound jerky, and it would be nice to see the full-sized image. You can see it in bits and pieces over the next week or so (I've already posted two), and as I said, if I can put in a link to the full-sized image without forcing people to load the whole thing, I'll do it.

    By Blogger pyramus, at 2:29 PM  

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