One Thousand Scents

Friday, June 12, 2009

Ad Feminam, Part 2: Chez-Elle

Do You Want to Make Men OBEY YOU?

Do you want to make him love wildly, fiercely? Do you want to make him say, "Darling, I adore you, I worship you. I'll do ANYTHING for YOU!" Do you want to make him OBEY your every command? Then use CHEZ-ELLE (What a Perfume) to help you CONTROL Men. One woman told me that CHEZ-ELLE is the STRONGEST perfume she ever used. Another woman told us that she blesses the day she first used CHEZ-ELLE, because now her husband comes home at night to help her.

Just send me your name and address and I will rush a Trial bottle of CHEZ-ELLE (What a Perfume) to you. When the postman delivers CHEZ-ELLE in a plain package, deposit only $2 plus postage (3 for $5) with him on this GUARANTEE: Use CHEZ-ELLE for 10 days. If you don't agree that CHEZ-ELLE is the most POWERFUL perfume you ever used, return it and I'll send your $2 right back. Write NOW!

I can't help thinking that there is something missing from the end of her husband comes home at night to help her. Help her what? "...rearrange the furniture"? "...proofread her doctoral dissertation"? "...have an orgasm"?

I'm guessing the missing phrase is "...with the housework". "Chez elle" is French for "at her house", and all manner of things could be going on there, but let's be honest: sex is all well and good, but at the end of the day, wouldn't most women really rather just put up their feet and have a man slavishly vacuum and put things away? (Even if it means she has to suffer through the STRONGEST perfume she ever used.)


That symbol, by the way, is an actual Chinese word, and they didn't just grab it at random for exoticism; it's the word for "to love", and I never would have found this out without the help of Tian, who has a really terrific blog called Hanzi Smatter, "dedicated to the misuse of Chinese characters in Western culture", and who pointed me here.


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